sometimes when i cry i feel like im having an epiphany. its like a surge of unwinding emotion. i feel like if i could channel that emotion for the rest of my life i could do and be what i want. sounds weird i know but its such an out of body experience that it makes us feel invincible.
something i think we would all love to feel like once in awhile.
This is only being brought up because i cried tonight.
i cried and cried and cried . and after i thought i was done crying i cried some more.
I'll be completely honest with myself and the world for one second.
I'm so scared. like absolutely terrified .
i have no idea who i am or what i'm doing with my life.
i want things to work out so badly that i feel like if my "shot " ever came i wouldn't recognize it because i would be so concerned with controlling the situation.
Aren't we always taught to do that .
Control our lives.
i like steering but i also like that feeling of complete and comfortable fly by the seat of your pants insecurity.
an insecurity that guides us to our most raw emotions.
emotions that when they run through us we cant even contain them.
A word my art teacher would use: Organic.